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DANISH HABITS

Five Danish rules foreign residents should try not to break

It's easier to get along as a foreigner living in Denmark if you keep to some of the Nordic country's most ingrained rules -- whether spoken or unspoken.

Published: 9 March 2023 16:26 CET
Updated: 29 July 2023 08:21 CEST

You will get a fine unless you have a ticket or have checked in your Rejsekort before getting on public transport in Denmark. Photo: Betina Garcia/Ritzau Scanpix

Enter public transport without a ticket

Unlike the New York subway, the London Tube and the Paris Metro, there are no turnstiles or checkpoints at Danish metro or train stations. It is your responsibility to make sure you’ve bought a ticket (from a machine or app) or checked in with your travel card (Rejsekort).

You can’t buy your ticket once you’ve entered the train and metro and you can’t start downloading your app once on board. If the ticket inspectors find this out, you’ll be fined heftily.

If you buy the ticket in time but your phone battery runs out, you’ll also be fined but you can appeal to have the fine withdrawn.

On buses, you can buy a ticket from the driver but only with cash.

If you don’t have enough money on your Rejsekort, you’ll soon find out by a loud low buzz noise when you try to check-in, alerting everyone to your trespassing status. You will get fined if a ticket inspector boards the bus so you’ll need to find a way to top it up, buy a ticket from an app, or give some cash to the driver.

Offend your neighbours

There’s a lot tied up with being a good neighbour in Denmark: Following the rules (both spoken and unspoken) and helping out with communal cleaning days are both part of this but don’t expect to share life stories on the staircase.

Most apartment buildings have rules about noise in the evenings. This will usually be something like no loud music or DIY after 8pm on weekdays and 10pm on weekends.

Parties are not completely forbidden, but unless you want to be persona non grata in your opgang (building entrance), you should put a note out to warn your neighbours and promise the party will be over (or you’ll have moved on to a bar) by no later than midnight.

Photo: Mads Claus Rasmussen/Scanpix 2017

Don’t say the neighbours are welcome to drop by if they want to. That would be awkward for everyone, especially as Danes are famously private, with neighbours offering no more than a quick hej hej in the hallway. Small talk, known as småsnak is unusual.

But one way to get to know your neighbours is helping out on arbejdsdag. This is a day during a weekend, usually twice a year, where residents of the apartment all come together to do some general tidying and upkeep of the apartment block and courtyard. Food and drink is usually involved and it’s expected you turn up.

One of the areas that everyone shares in apartment buildings is the laundry room (vaskeri) and there is a lot of potential for causing offence here.

You must book out a time slot before using the washing and drying machines, or check the planner that they are free for the next hour or so.

The slots in after-work hours book up fast, meaning many people working normal hours book their slots days or even weeks in advance. Taking their slot would make you very unpopular.

You’re expected to clean up after yourself, which includes wiping out the detergent slot of the washing machine and removing your fluff from the dryer. Your neighbours can see which apartment booked the laundry room, so they’ll know it was you.

Cycle without rules

Life in Denmark is synonymous with being on a bike but there are, of course rules.

You can risk getting a fine between 700 and 1,500 kroner if you:

Walk with your bike in the bike lane rather than cycling.
Cycle without both lights on during dark hours or during low visibility.
Cycle with another person on a one-person bike that isn’t a child in a child seat.
Hold onto another vehicle or person in another vehicle while cycling.
Hog the bike lane, chatting to your friend cycling next to you, when others need to overtake.
Talk on your mobile phone when cycling.
Cycle when drunk. The police decide on your level of drunkenness rather than there being a legal limit. But if they think you’re more than a little tipsy, you’ll be getting a 1,500 kroner fine and walking home.

Pedestrians also need to be wary and should never walk in the bike lane, except when getting on and off a bus. Failure to comply with this is likely to seriously irk the nearest approaching cyclist.

Jay walking is also an offence in Denmark. If you are found crossing a red light as a pedestrian, you’ll get a 700 kroner fine.

Copenhagen cycling police — Photo: Sarah Christine Nørgaard/BT/Ritzau Scanpix

Use dates instead of week numbers

People in Denmark use week numbers to refer to points in time, either in the past or future.

This custom was introduced in the 1970s when Denmark began considering Monday, rather than Sunday, as the first day of the week.

It is so widely used that Danes are instinctively aware of the week number they’re currently in and the the week numbers of their holidays and other important dates.

Using terms like “the second week in July” or “the week commencing Monday July 18th” will only be met by a question about what week number that is.

Week one is always the first week in which Thursday is in January. This means that the number of weeks in a year can vary, because 52 multiplied by 7 is 364. As such, week 53 sometimes makes an appearance at the tail end of the Danish calendar.

When you manage to work out the week number of your appointment, make sure you are on time. Danes take punctuality seriously. If you are running late, make sure you send a message of warning and if you’re early, slow down a little so you’re just on time.

Question food customs

From open sandwiches, the huge variety of cheese, to a love of liquorice; there are cultural differences when it comes to food in Denmark.

For example, there are unwritten rules when it comes to eating open sandwiches (smørrebrød). Do not add whatever is on the table and stick another piece of bread on top.

Safe combinations include rare roast beef (cold) on rugbrød topped with remoulade, grated fresh horseradish and crispy onions. Or shrimp, eggs and aioli with an optional topping of salmon, cucumber, lemon or cress.

Don’t question the Danes’ love of liquorice. You won’t be able to avoid it, as it appears in anything from chocolate, to ice cream to even a cup of tea. It’s better to say nothing, or embrace your salty tastebuds.

Then there’s cheese. Denmark produces over four hundred thousand tonnes of cheese each year, ranging from Danbo to Danablu.

But when it comes to soft cheese, like havarti and the ‘Cheasy’ range from Arla, you must not cut this with a knife. Instead, use an ostehøvl (cheese slicer), the quintessential Danish kitchen utensil.

There are two types of ostehøvl: a wire-based type and a version that looks a bit like a trowel, with a raised edge and a gap in the middle for the sliced cheese to pass through.

Inexperienced wielders of either type of ostehøvl could find themselves causing a Danish kitchen no-no: the “ski slope”. This comes from creating uneven slices and leaving one side of the block thicker than the other.

Have we missed any good unwritten Danish rules that it’s best not to break? Let us know in the comments.

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How to survive a children's birthday party in Denmark

If you’re hosting, remember: man skal bare hygge sig (you only need to have a nice time!)

In a some countries, children’s parties (børnefødselsdage) are an opportunity for social competition. You blast other parents away with a conjuror flown in from Dubai, helium on tap, cakes and treats from the most expensive local caterer, glitzy decor, and generous presents for each attendant.

Not in Denmark. Here it should be hyggeligt: good enough to meet the minimum requirements for a children’s party, but not so lavish as to create a standard other parents might struggle to meet. In short, just make sure everyone feels comfortable and that there’s a pleasant vibe.

You can add small personal touches – cute homemade cup cakes, a party game from your own country – but nothing too dramatic.

Whatever you do though, don’t forget the Danish flags. The national flag, Dannebrog, is not only a symbol of patriotic pride but a marker of any celebratory occasion, not least birthdays. You’ll see little paper flags stuck into the grass outside, tiny ones scattered across the dining table and, if there’s a flagpole on the property, an outsized version of the red Danish flag proudly flying to show there’s a birthday going on.

A flagpole is not a must, but making sure there are flags is. Fortunately, this is easy to do if you’re hosting a birthday, because all supermarkets sell packets of paper flags of all sizes, for the specific purpose of using them for birthday parties.

Who to invite?

There aren’t any strict rules about this, but until the age of nine or so, don’t be surprised if you are expected to invite all the kids in your child’s børnehave (kindergarten) or class, even the weird ones with unsavoury parents.

If they all come, and you invite friends too, this can mean something like 15-20 children, and perhaps a similar number of adults, running around your house or apartment.

While a good way to cut down on numbers might be to send out the invitations a week, or even just two or three days, in advance — Danes aren’t big on spontaneity — you might find that even with plenty of notice, the number who have prior plans will mean you end up with a manageable amount.

Although Denmark is a highly digitised society, birthday party invitations can still be sent out like they were in the 1990s and 2000s — on a piece of paper deposited at each of your child’s’ classmates’ coat hooks, drawers, or whatever other space they have for storage at their school or kindergarten.

Where to have it?

If your house or apartment is big enough to handle 20-30 people, then you can host it at home. In which case, to meet Danish standards, you should make sure everything is impeccably tidy. In terms of decor, aside from the mandatory flags (see above), balloons and maybe a bit of bunting are enough.

If you live in a 50 square-metre, two-bed apartment, and want to avoid a squeeze, many blocks of apartments in Denmark have a shared function room called a fællessal. These can be a little institutional and you should book it well in advance (usually through the building’s vicevært or the housing association, if this is applicable). On the plus side, you won’t have to tidy your house before the event.

Skattejagt or fiskedam?

Danish children’s parties – up until the children are aged about nine anyway – usually have one of these two things.

A skattejagt is a treasure hunt (skat = treasure, jagt = hunt), where a series of paper clues leads to a box or bag containing bags of sweeties. A fiskedam is a fishing game (fisk = fish, dam = pond) in which bags of sweeties are fished out.

Whichever it is, the game is often announced by the birthday boy or girl halfway through the party and is a way of delivering a sweetie bag into the hands of each child while also sending a signal to parents that it will soon be time to get going.

These games are quite important in successfully creating a hyggelig kid’s birthday vibe. If you don’t have them, children will complain.

For the skattejagt, the clues can be simply a drawing of the place where the next clue is hidden, but for older kids they can be more challenging and creative: I’ve heard of clues frozen in a block of ice in the freezer, hung out of the window on string, and put inside balloons which need to be popped.

For the fiskedam, a curtain or sheet is pinned about 150 centimetres high across a doorway. A fishing rod is then created from a broom handle or other suitable pole, with a piece of string tied to the end, and a clothes peg at the other end of the string. Children (with the help of an adult) then fish for the sweetie bags, and an adult on the other side either attaches the sweets, or some sort of comedy item (a sock, a boot, or an unused nappy, for instance).

The bag should contain maybe ten sweets, of which one is a lollipop as well as maybe a small toy like a temporary tattoo or bouncy ball.

What should you lay on?

A giant thermos of coffee for parents is pretty much obligatory. There should be also be tea, but you don’t need to go overboard here. A box of green tea bags and another one with some kind of fruit infusion will do. If you’re attending a birthday (or anything else in Denmark for that matter), then Yorkshire Tea or PG Tips are not going to be on the menu.

Some biscuits or småkager for the grown ups to nibble on also goes down well, as does some sliced fruit like melon, pear and apple. If it’s summer, include a bowl of strawberries (don’t worry about the cream).

You should lay on a couple of different types of crisp or nuts, and children should also get saft, a berry squash drink.

If you want to offer warm food — this is not a bad idea if the party is likely to last a few hours — then pølsehorn, small hotdogs which can either be baked with your own dough or bought frozen, are enough to keep everyone happy (with a bit of ketchup on the side).

It’s a good idea to offer sausage, biscuit and cake options in vegetarian, gluten-free, and lactose-free form.

What about the cake?

In the UK and the US, it is totally acceptable and even encouraged to make your own cake representing a child’s favourite cartoon character, an animal or a vehicle.

This is less common in Denmark, where a lagkage, literally “layer cake” consisting of layers of sponge, cream, strawberries and chocolate is the quintessential birthday cake at kids’ parties.

If you want to push the boat out a bit while remaining fully traditional you could buy or make a lagkage with an extra marzipan layer.

Putting candles on the cake and getting the fødselar or birthday boy or girl to blow them out is not uncommon but I’ve also seen children’s birthdays where this hasn’t featured, leading me to think it’s probably an imported custom in Denmark.

What to do as a guest?

Danes are punctual, so unless you’ve warned otherwise, turn up within 15 minutes of the party’s official start time, and pick up your children about 15 minutes before the official end (if you’re not staying — for younger children, a parent will probably stay for the duration).

Children can be dressed up in fancy dress, or in better-than-average clothes, but shouldn’t be in mini-tuxedos or frilly crinoline. Normal clothes are also fine, but they should be clean.

Up until about the age of five or maybe six, at least one parent is expected to stay while the party is going on. After that, most will just take off their children’s boots and jacket, oversee the giving of presents, and disappear.

If you do have the chance to stay, it’s probably best to do so, as it’s one of the best opportunities you will find to get to know other parents as a foreigner in Denmark.

If you do, you should probably help out the hosts with clearing the table, stacking the dishwasher, and calming crying children.

You should bring a present for your child to hand over but it’s best not to spend much more than 100 kroner. Cards are less important but older children might want to a write longer message to their friend, in which case you should not hold back. Toy guns, swords, knives and nunchucks are generally frowned upon.

Do you have any tips for Danish birthdays? Let us know in the comments.

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