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LEARNING GERMAN

‘Forget about bilingual Kitas’: Key tips for raising bilingual kids in Germany

With greater numbers of international workers choosing to settle in Germany and raise a family, the question of how to best raise bilingual children is often considered. 

'Forget about bilingual Kitas': Key tips for raising bilingual kids in Germany
A growing number of children are being born to international families in Germany. Photo: Kliimkin / Pixabay

The Local asked its readers who have raised bilingual children in Germany to tell us how they managed to raise children who speak German in addition to their parent’s mother tongue. 

Trust the (school) system. 

One piece of advice was echoed by several readers: Trust the German education system to take care of teaching German through immersion. 

Siniša, 44, from Hesse, who speaks Croatian and English at home, told The Local: “Speak your native language at home. The school will ‘cover’ German and other languages.”

Steve, 55, who lives in Munich and speaks English and Spanish with his daughter agrees.

“Be consistent and raise your child in your native tongue. At a local school, they will learn German quickly,” he said.

Chris, 44, from Hamburg, who speaks English with his children, backed the idea of leaving kids’ schools to take charge of teaching them German.

“Get the kids into the German education system as early as possible and let them learn themselves from native speakers. As a bonus, they’ll pick it up quickly and not pick up a ‘non-German’ accent either,” he said.

Read more: ‘Multilingualism is an enrichment’ – The challenges of raisin bilingual kids in Germany

Readers also noted that even in the preschool stage, children can handle multiple languages. 

Julie, 41, who lives in Hamburg and speaks English and Italian at home, said: “Relax and go with the flow. Don’t get hung up on finding bilingual Kitas for toddlers if they already get significant exposure to the non-German language at home. Languages seem to develop in different spurts at different speeds.”

However, liaising with schools in Germany was noted as an essential skill. 

Kim, 46, based in Sindelfingen, with a family speaking both English and German, said: “It’s essential for at least one parent to understand German when children attend a German school. They can help explain language and cultural differences. They can also help with administrative matters and even homework.”

Maintain the mother tongue.

While readers were keen to encourage parents to trust the immersion process that German schools provide, they were also quick to advise a concerted effort to maintain speaking the mother tongue in and around the home. 

“For international parents, I think it’s very important that their children do not lose touch with their mother tongue, as it is a very special part of their identity,” said Prashanth, 42, who lives in Munich.

Anne-Marie, 52, from Frankfurt, who speaks ‘Singlish’ (Singaporean English) with her children, stated that it’s essential to be firm.

“Speak in your mother tongue to your kids from the day they are born. Be consequent about it, even in front of other people who do not speak your mother tongue,” she said.

Karl, 44, who lives in Celle and who speaks English and the indigenous American Ute language with his children, said getting family on board is important. 

“Communicate with all family members your decision, intentionally speak all of the languages, when possible provide translations so family members present are not excluded from conversations,” he said.

Charles, 40, from Berlin, even stated that speaking German at home may prove detrimental: “Don’t speak your own mediocre German with them. It may be hard to see them speaking another language as their more comfortable primary language than your own.”

Charles, who speaks English at home, added: “Find books and shows to share with them in your native language to continue the shared experience.”

Read More: What foreign parents should know about German schools

Just let it happen with the kids…

Sometimes, it seems, becoming bilingual takes care of itself. 

Paul, 40, from Munich, married to a German, said: “Our oldest just started speaking English one day around age 3. She had heard so much she could understand and just started talking. 

“The twins are starting to speak more and more English. It wasn’t a problem since she was fluent in both by age 4. I advise patience and not expecting perfection at a young age.

Crystal, 38, who lives in Nuremberg and speaks English at home, responded: “At first, my main concern was getting as much German into our lives as possible so my son would be ready for Grundschule. 

“Now I’m swinging the other way. My advice is to try to relax. There are always other things to worry about, and kids learn so much really quickly.”

…but also challenge yourself

Finally, respondents to The Locals’ survey repeated that raising bilingual children is something that requires a degree of effort – on the parent’s behalf. 

J.K, 40, who lives in Hanau and speaks English and Telugu at home, told The Local: “Language is very important for the kids to grow in a culture. 

“Parents should facilitate situations around the kid to better integrate locally. Parents (at least one) should be able to speak German at a level better than B1. 

“If not, supporting kids in their education is difficult, and this will hamper their chances of reaching a higher education level.”

Read More: Six surprising facts about Germany’s school system

Moreno, 40, who lives in Munich and speaks Portuguese with his children, was firm in his advice: “Don’t choose the easy way for you, parents. Don’t hide in your language community bubble. 

“If you intend to live in Germany for a long time, put your kids in German schools and get them in touch with the German community.

“If you don’t speak German like me, deal with it. But don’t transfer your problem to your kids.”

Have we missed any crucial advice for raising bilingual children in Germany? Tell us in the comments section below.

Member comments

  1. If the parents are German and English, for example, the German should speak german to the kids and the English should speak english to them.

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FAMILY

Why so many couples in Germany go to Denmark to get married

Couples with at least one non-German partner who try to get married in Germany often run into near-impossible hurdles. The solution that many international couples resort to is crossing a border for a day or two and returning as newlyweds.

Why so many couples in Germany go to Denmark to get married

Germany is not particularly well known as a wedding destination, but its neighbour Denmark is.

Denmark has been an especially popular wedding destination for people coming from Germany since the 1960s. 

To be clear it’s not that couples in Germany are swapping their wedding carriages for tandem bicycles, or that they want Smørrebrød at their reception dinners. 

Actually what attracts couples to Denmark for marriage is not what the country has, but what it doesn’t have – that being outrageous bureaucratic hurdles.

The Local spoke with one newly wed husband and one engaged bachelor who both opted for Danish weddings. They explained why they avoided getting married in Germany, and how seamless the process can be in Denmark.

Impossible documents and language barriers

For many foreigners, and even some native born citizens, Germany’s paperwork and German language requirements for the marriage process are simply too much.

Sam Care, 32, who lives in Berlin told The Local that he didn’t spend too much time investigating the marriage process in Germany. Rather he and his newly wed wife were recommended to marry in Denmark from the beginning.

“Given our experience with German bureaucracy, it didn’t take much to convince us,” Sam admitted. But he did look into the process enough to realise the list of required documents is substantially longer in Germany than it is in Denmark.

“I’m sure lots of people don’t arrive in Germany with their birth certificates and proof of civil status. At least we hadn’t, so the German process had this added hassle of trying to get documents from my wife’s home country.”

newlyweds in Denmark

Sam Care and his newlywed bride as seen in Copenhagen shortly after getting married. Photo provided by Sam Care.

While requesting documents from your home country (and then getting them translated and apostilled) is difficult enough if you are coming from the US or the UK, for example, it can be nearly impossible for people coming from countries like Kenya or South Africa, or countries where regular processes may be disrupted by conflict, like in Ukraine or Russia.

William Bryan, 28, who is scheduled to marry his fiancée in Denmark in a few months said that as a German-American he had made an honest effort to start the German process.

“It was so quickly, overwhelmingly bureaucratic in classic German fashion,” Will told The Local. 

He added that an official translator was required at the marriage if either of the partners couldn’t prove sufficient German language skills – which would have been an issue for his fiancée – and they didn’t offer options beside German language for the ceremony.

Ultimately, Will says the extra paperwork and the language barrier, and the fact that both of those issues could be avoided with a quick trip to Denmark, made it an easy choice.

‘You could be married next week in Denmark’

Beside the language and paperwork barriers, another issue for those trying to marry in Germany can be the timing. Scheduling a marriage in Germany can take months, especially in bigger cities where local venues are often fully booked well in advance.

Of course marriage is not something to rush into, but there are certain situations where couples may need to marry sooner than later.

Will noted that after he and his fiancée submitted their documents to Danish authorities, they received approval on their application within five business days.

“You could probably apply today and get married next week,” Will said.

bride and groom celebrating

A bride and groom celebrate their union with a toast. Photo by Pexels via Pixabay

Sam also noted how easy and quick the Danish process was: “You just go to the Danish website, upload a few documents, get approved, choose a venue, done!”

He said that they did have to register a day ahead of the marriage at the town hall: “When we got to the town hall there were a bunch of couples from around the world. It was actually sweet to see the other couples in a similar situation to ours, all in need of a feasible way to secure their lives together.”

Germany gets its papers either way

There is one catch. When German residents are married abroad, they need to have their foreign marriage officially recognised in Germany before that marriage will count in terms of tax and citizenship / residency effects.

Sam, who was married by the end of 2023, says he is still in the process of having his marriage recognised by the German authorities, which would also be required to arrange a name change in the country.

READ ALSO: How to have your marriage abroad recognised in Germany

“In my experience it’s not so straightforward,” Sam said. “Depending on your circumstance, you have to either go to the Standesamt or Bürgeramt and it’s not entirely obvious which one until you contact one and are told to go through the other – and then over to the Finanzamt.”

Typically, married couples can start this process by presenting the marriage certificate at their local registry office. But if you’re moving to Germany for the first time, you can try brining the certificate with you to your first Anmeldung appointment.

But here also, coming from Denmark has an advantage. Danish weddings come with marriage certificates in five languages (Danish, English, German, Spanish, and French) at no extra cost. 

So at least you won’t have to translate your marriage certificate when you turn it in to the relevant authorities in Germany.

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