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‘A great opportunity to bond’: Foreign fathers on the joys of Swedish parental leave

Fathers from India, the US and the UK who have all taken advantage of Sweden's generous paid parental leave, told The Local of the closer relationship it has given them with their infant child.

Published: 22 August 2024 06:13 CEST
Updated: 24 August 2024 08:01 CEST

'A great opportunity to bond': Foreign fathers on the joys of Swedish parental leave

A father pushes a child in a pram in Stockholm. Photo: Magnus Liam Karlsson/imagebank.sweden.se

In many cultures, caring after babies and very small children is seen as women’s work.

Sweden, though, has long pioneered a more gender-equal approach, with one of the most generous systems of parental leave in the world brought in 50 years ago this year.

In Sweden couples get 480 days of leave to share between them, 390 days of which are based on their salaries, and three months of which are dedicated, use-it-or-lose-it, for each parent (they’re often called the “daddy months”, although in theory they could be claimed by the mother).

In practice, fathers take on average around 30 percent of parental leave and mothers 70 percent.

We asked readers who have taken or decided not to take parental leave in Sweden, about what they feel about the system.

“A transformative experience”

For Sundarrajan, a software engineer living in Gothenburg, the opportunity to care first for his baby son for seven months and soon for his baby daughter for five months and counting, has been one of the best reasons to move to and stay in Sweden.

“As a father it gives great opportunity for me to bond with my kid at a young age, be part of many growth milestones,” he wrote in answer to The Local’s survey.

“And especially as someone who came from a country that doesn’t have such benefits, to me this confirms that my decision to have kids and settle down in Sweden is definitely the right one.”

He was not the only reader to have this experience.

“I think it is equally important for the father to bond right from the very beginning and understand the child and the mother even better,” said another father.

“I have just started my paternity leave and I am already having a great time taking care of the kid, connecting even more. My wife was anxious in the beginning when she was about to resume work but now she seems much relaxed now that I am in charge.”

Fathers from the US and UK also said that they had been surprised by the experience they had had so far caring for an infant, particularly realising the all-absorbing nature of the role.

“The first few months especially opened my eyes to the extent to which caring for a newborn is more than a full-time job,” said Eric Peterson, a reader from the US. “It’s given me a newfound appreciation for mothers in countries with less generous (or, like in my home country, non-existent) parental benefits.”

“I’m still early on my journey into fatherhood, but the bond with my daughter feels strong. I look forward to using the remaining month or so of my leave a bit later in my daughter’s life to take her back to my home country to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.”

Mothers also said they had benefited.

Bruna Larissa Lima Crisostomo, a software engineer from Brazil who is working at Volvo, said that the six months her husband stayed at home with their son had been “a transformative experience for our family”.

“Initially, it was challenging because our baby was more accustomed to being with me. However, after a period of adjustment, it became an incredible experience. They developed a strong bond, and now our son has two adults he truly trusts,” she said.

“Before my husband took parental leave, I was the primary source of support for our son. Now, our child feels equally secure with both of us, which has been wonderful to see.”

The experience, she said, had made her husband “much more sensitive and attuned to the needs of our child”.

‘We forget that it’s not really 80 percent of salary’

However, while several respondents were grateful for the generous state-funded leave, others complained that it was not generous enough, with the daily payouts capped at 1,218 kronor a day, or a salary of 37,758, mean many foreigners in Sweden risk taking a financial hit if they take leave.

“I feel Sweden’s generous parental leave policy is a key factor attracting young families to relocate to the country for work. Having said that, for a high-skilled working family, with a wife who did not find work before the first baby, the financial cap on the money meant the father had to keep working and mother took most of the vacation,” said Muhammad, a software engineer from Pakistan.

Some also argued that the financial aspects of the system were confusing and not transparent enough.

Stephen from the UK, while appreciative of the opportunities he had gained, said that it could be complicated working out how to get the most money.

“The big issue is the planning with all the rules and the not so clear ways to maximise your leave especially if you a salaried person,” he said.

Another Indian father, who preferred to remain anonymous, said that even though his company had offered to top up his payments up to 80 percent of his salary, he had not been able to afford to take parental leave, and if they hadn’t offered this, he would have been looking at forgoing more than 60 percent of his salary.

“In UK or US, paternity leave is for two weeks but fully paid. Why doesn’t Sweden have fully paid paternity leave?” he asked.

A female researcher agreed that it was misleading to suggest that people did not take significant salary cuts when they went on leave.

“I think we forget that it’s not really 80 percent of your salary – a lot of international workers earn well above the threshold so in practice you might be making 60-70 percent, even though a lot of employers top this up,” she said.

“Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t able to take all of my leave for financial reasons. I have student loans from the US and I couldn’t afford to live on 90 percent of my salary for more than 10 months.”

Difficult to combine with career

The researcher said that the competitive nature of academia had also prevented her that taking time off, as it would have done too much damage to her career.

“I have to either constantly apply for funding to keep my job or apply for lecturer positions,” she said. “Even if I was supposed to be on leave, I still felt pressure to publish and keep projects moving so that I would be competitive.”

Peterson said he also feared that taking leave could damage his career, although as he is currently on leave, he has yet to find out for certain.

“While taking leave hasn’t affected my career in any official capacity, I can’t help but feel that the timing was less than ideal for my career progression (in terms of the annual promotion cycle common to large corporations). But part of why I moved to Sweden in the first place was to leave the rat race behind. And having children tends to reshuffle priorities anyway, so it doesn’t bother me much.”

Member comments

Anonymous - 28 August 2024 at 09:26 CEST

Correction about the US according to the father talking about paid parental leave in the US. There is none, fathers are entitled to 0 days paid parental and then mothers are entitled to 3 months of leave that may or may not be paid, they’re just guaranteed their job back or a similar position that pays the same. The government itself only enforces 3 days leave for the mother but makes 0 requirements on pay or fathers. It’s
Up to companies which on average provide nothing for fathers and at least something to mothers

Become a Member to leave a comment.

How to use Swedish parental leave to spend four months with your baby back home

From July 1st this year, parents of newborns in Sweden are allowed to take up to 60 so-called “double days”, when both parents receive parental benefit at the same time, meaning they use up 120 days of shared leave.

This means that if each partner also takes a month of parental leave solo at the same time as the other takes their full 25-day holiday entitlement, couples working in Sweden can enjoy a full four months together away from work, allowing them to travel back to their home country to share those precious first months with their friends and family.

Swedes already do this to enjoy a long holiday with their new born infants, with schools established in some of the most popular resorts in Thailand so that parents can bring school-age children with them, leading to envious reports in the Swedish newspapers.

If you still have days left for another, previous child, you can add in these too, stretching your paid time off from work even longer.

We asked Anna Stenhoff, an executive at the Swedish Social Insurance Agncy, how the system works.

READ ALSO:

Sweden’s 480 days of parental leave: What you need to know

What’s the maximum amount of time you can be abroad on parental leave?

There are different rules for the 390 days that you are paid at sickness level (80 percent of salary) and for the 90 days paid at the minimum level of 180 kronor a day. There are also different rules for stays inside and outside the EU.

Under Sweden’s rules, sickness level parental leave is a work-based benefit. This means you remain entitled to it for as long as you are employed in Sweden and have a child resident in Sweden.

In practice, this generally means you and your child can stay outside the EU and collect sickness level parental leave for up to a year, so long as you do not, say, decide to work for a new employer in the country where you are working, or are not made redundant from your job in Sweden.

“So long as you keep your job, you can take that leave abroad,” Stenhoff told The Local. “But for parental benefit specificially the child has to be a resident of Sweden, so that’s why the one year kicks in, because typically after a year, the child would no longer be a resident of Sweden, which is a qualificiation for the benefit.”

The 90-days paid at the minimum level, however, is a residency-based benefit, which under Sweden’s rules can only be collected ouside the EU for up to six months, so long as you are still considered resident in Sweden.

“Normally, if you travel abroad on holiday, that’s not an indication of changing residency, but if you moved abroad, you would lose this benefit from day one,” Stenhoff said.

This means you risk losing the benefit at minimum level if you, for instance, inform the Swedish Tax Agency that you have moved to a country outside the EU, or changed your official address to an Indian address, or changed a child’s school to an Indian school.

The rules on work- and residency-based benefits are more generous for stays in another EU country, with the general rule being that you can be in another EU country for up to a year and still receive your benefits.

“It’s more generous in the EU, but it’s also more complicated,” Stenhoff said, adding that as the rules changed, for instance, depending on your job and whether you have family members in the other EU country.

This means, she says, that it is “always a good idea” to ring the Social Insurance Agency to discuss your situation before you leave.

How will a stay abroad affect work or residency permit extensions?

If you only have temporary residency in Sweden through a work permit, you may need to be more careful before taking parental leave outside the EU.

In theory, you can be out of Sweden for six months or more without causing issues when you later apply for an extension, as both being on parental leave and taking the holiday you are entitled to in your job are seen as “an acceptable reason to interrupt your employment” under work permit rules.

This is not the case, however, if the time you have been away from work greatly exceeds the time you were actually working.

“If you have not worked at all, or have only worked for a very limited period of time, your application for a permanent residence permit may be rejected,” the Migration Agency warns on its website.

It’s a good idea to ring the Migration Agency before departure to check that your planned stay will not affect your chances of receiving a new work or residency permit, permanent residency, or citizenship.

What do you need to do before you go abroad?

Even if you are travelling outside the EU, EEA or UK, when it comes to parental benefit, it is not obligatory to inform the Swedish Social Insurance Agency or request permission to take your leave internationally, Stenhoff said.

She nonetheless believes it is a good idea to ring the agency to check that everything you planned to do is within rules, pointing out that for several other benefits, it is obligatory to inform them if you leave the EU.

You should also keep documents or print-outs from the Swedish Social Insurance Agency and also from your employer of the days you have taken of parental leave and holiday, as you may need to send these to the Migration Agency when you apply to extend your work permit.

The Swedish Board of Health and Welfare recommends that parents planning to travel abroad with a baby also inform the childcare unit or barnavårdscentral (BVC) that they are registered with of their plans at least a few months before they depart, so that they can ensure that your baby has all the vaccinations they need to travel safely abroad.

In Sweden, BVCs normally invite you to around 13 visits during the child’s first year, so if you plan to be away for up to six months of this, they may also wish to carry out some essential checks before you go.

Which bank account can I be paid into?

If you are receiving benefits abroad, it is easier to have them paid into a standard Swedish bank account. It is, however, possible to have them paid into a foreign bank account, so long as it is in the name of the beneficiary and it has passed the money-laundering and other anti-fraud checks run by the agency’s payments division. You can register a new bank account by logging into the Social Insurance Agency here.

What about if I have a child at school or day care?

There is currently no requirement to send your child to daycare in Sweden, but many municipalities automatically take away your place at preschool if your child is away for two months or more without a good reason.

You may well be able to get around this if you are away for three or four months by explaining your plans to the preschool head. If you want to keep your child’s place you will have to continue paying the monthly fee while you are away.

It is compulsory in Sweden for all children between the ages of 6 and 16 to attend school, however. This means that if you are planning on taking your child out of school for two or three months, you need to convince the headteacher that you have “extraordinary reasons and special circumstances” to do so.

Whether they say ‘yes’ depends on how liberal they are, but you are quite likely to have your request denied, particularly in Stockholm, Gothenburg and Malmö, where the municipalities face a recurring problem of chldren being taken out of school without permission.

Acceptable reasons include family celebrations such as weddings and funerals, and important religious festivals. You are unlikely to have a request accepted for a holiday.

For periods longer than a few months, you will need to apply to your municipality for a temporary exemption from compulsory schooling. You can find the application form for Stockholm here, and the city government’s explainer on taking your child overseas here.

The chances are that if you take a child away for longer than a few months, they will be declared no longer covered by compulsory schooling, meaning they will lose their school place and you will have to reapply on your return.

There is no statutory regulation saying what counts as a long or short time overseas, but in Malmö, for example, any journey longer than 10 days needs to be approved by the school head, and anything over six months is very likely to lose you your school place.

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