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CULTURE

Reverse culture shock: The troubles of leaving France

Returning home after living in France can come with some reverse culture shock. Readers spell out the troubles they have re-adjusting.

Published: 13 December 2017 10:15 CET
Reverse culture shock: The troubles of leaving France
Photo: Daniel Lobo/Flickr
The bread is no good back home
 
This was a common response, notably from the Brits. And let's be honest, it's hard to compete with fresh French bread. 
 
… and it's not free either
 
One Australian commenter said she found it “affronting” when a restaurant offers bread and it arrives with a price tag. Yes, in France, bread with a meal is not only delicious, but is free.
 
Photo: Connie Ma/Flickr
 
The binge drinking
 
Several people pointed out that the French were a refined bunch of drinkers in contrast to their home compatriots. 
 
“Everytime I go to the UK I wonder how the hell France can always be ranked higher in terms of average drinking per person in every study,” says Ferdinand Lefebvre on Facebook. 
 
One Brit said that the British towns saw such heavy drinking and unruly behaviour that there was “an atmosphere of potential violence rarely experienced in French towns”. 
 
The kissing conundrum
 
It might take a while to get used to doing “La bise” in France but once you are accustomed to the French greeting kiss, you'll find the custom hard to drop. Which makes returning home a little tricky. 
 
You'll find yourself automatically giving people you meet two cheek kisses when they were expecting a handshake or just a nod and a smile. You'll either have to drop the act for fear of embarrassing people or making their partners jealous or proudly insist on doing it, but explain yourself each time.
 
The weather…
 
For those living in the sunny south of France, the return to Britain is always going to be tough.
 
 
The noise…
 
“Everywhere is so noisy, especially bars and restaurants,” said Nigel Hartnup. Yes you'll have to take your earplugs back home with you if you've been used to evenings on quiet café terraces in France.
 
Having to drink inside, standing up
 
Yes there is far less café terrace culture back home compared to France. That's in part due to the weather, but also because the French just like to sit down, relax, talk and sip. In the UK at least, a night out often involves standing up, inside. Not good, readers say.
 
And also on the subject of drinking…
 
Not eating on a night out
 
What is it with people back home who are happy to go out for a night and just drink. If you've been in France for a while you know that a night out pretty much always involves dinner somewhere. Eating is never cheating.
 
 
The food can never compare to French food
 
Maureen Jones from Canada says that she misses the food from France as soon as she gets home, and who can blame her given France's offerings.
 
“We get depressed visiting our grocery stores, there's nothing to buy,” she says. 
 
The food portions are too big back home
 
This was a common response from people from around the world, with many telling us that they just couldn't get accustomed to the huge servings of food after getting used to how the French eat in moderation. 
 
Big steak? Coming right up. Photo: Jessica Spengler/Flickr
 
They've got no table manners back home
 
Living in France can help you to develop extremely good table manners that you perhaps had never even thought about before. 
 
Tazzy Elhassadi said that when she went home she had a tenfold increase in noticing “all the little things” missing in her home country when it came to table manners. 

 
People don't fight for their rights like the French do
 
Christos Tiger, who says the French are masters of fighting for their rights.
 
“The English put up with everything without complaining,” he writes.
 
“I must have gone native as I always kick off trying to stand up for my 'rights' whenever I go back to the UK, not that it makes any difference whatsoever…”
 
Transport costs
 
Going back to London and seeing how much people pay to use the tube or buses makes you long to be squished in on an RER train or Metro carriage in Paris, one reader declared.
 
Public transport in Paris might have problems but at least it's fairly cheap.
 
 
Expensive French wine
 
You pay a premium to drink French wine anywhere but France it seems. It's pain full having to shell out £10 to get a half-decent bottle of French wine in a British supermarket knowing that the same money would get you a really decent wine from Nicolas or Monoprix.
 
On the other hand you could just buy Californian or South African plonk.
 
They don't do basic politeness
 
Be prepared for strange looks if you continue the French custom of saying “hello” in lifts, waiting rooms, shops etc…
 
The Local's former intern Katie Warren said that basic politeness went out the window when she returned to the US.
 
“Reverse culture shock is so real,” she said. “My first interaction here (in a deli) went something like this:
 
Me upon walking in: “Hello!”
Cashier girl: Silence.
Me: Puts pasta salad on counter.
Cashier: “Seven fifty.”
Me: “Great, thanks. Bye, have a good evening!”
Cashier: Silence.”
 
Jock Meston says: “I've also grown used to the French politeness, saying thank you and please, looking each other in the eye when clinking glasses, that sort of thing being the norm.”
 
The lack of holidays
 
In the US at least, “people work incredibly hard and get very few vacation days… and they do some in an almost robotic way”, says Erielle Delzer.
 
All the chain stores and bars
 
France has managed to look after its independent stores, bars and cafés better than many Anglophone countries. “When you go back to the UK now, all town centres just feel the same. Boots, Costa coffee, Superdrug, Pizza Express…” one UK expat said.
 
French towns are thankfully holding on to their originality. 
 
“Motorway service stations…
 
…With only junk food” was one suggestion sent in by a reader and we agree. French motorway service stations are a pleasure to stop in. And the machine coffee is even decent. 
 
Litter and rubbish
 
Two or three readers, presumably not living in Paris, pointed out how they are shocked by all the litter and rubbish onthe streets of UK towns compared to clean French towns and villages. Not just the rubbish, but also “how scruffy the towns” were.
 
Having to drink six cups of tea a day
 
My bladder is no longer big enough for the average daily tea intake in the UK, said one reader. 
 
But there are positives for some people…
 
The supermarkets are actually open
 
We heard this one a lot, and it's no surprise – many French shops will be closed on Sunday and won't open late. In other countries, especially the US, you can find anything at any time (and often in any place).
 
French café owner fined €190k for closing on Bastille Day

Photo: Sylvain Naudin/Flickr
 
The red tape is suddenly so easy
 
“What will never cease to be pleasantly surprising is how easy everything admin is,” said one Australian woman. “I dedicated half a day to renewing my driving licence and it was done in 20 minutes without an appointment and with irregular circumstances. I was expecting huge problems.”
 
Smiling is normal
 
And lastly, when she's back home in the US, Erielle Delzer says that not smiling “is considered rude”. This no doubt comes as a shock after living in France, or at least Paris, where those who smile are the tourists and the drunks. 
 
Photo: Guille Mueses/Flickr
 
A version of this article was first published in 2016.

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CULTURE

How many of France’s ’10 most iconic women’ can you name?

Ten monumental golden statues representing French women from the worlds of art, literature, sport and politics are shortly to go on display in Paris - but how many of these famous names do you recognise?

Published: 18 September 2024 15:34 CEST
How many of France's '10 most iconic women' can you name?

They were one of the early highlights of the Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games in Paris this summer, emerging from the River Seine near the Alexandre-III bridge as the flotilla of boats carrying international athletes passed.

Now golden status of the 10 famous women have been made and are on display in Cour d’honneur of the French National Assembly until October 5th, while more permanent homes for them are discussed. Paris mayor Anne Hidalgo hopes to install them along rue de La Chapelle in the 18th arrondissement.

It will go some way towards closing that statuery gap – there are currently around 260 statues of men in the French capital, and just 40 women.

This temporary free exhibition will enable visitors to admire these polymer resin sculptures, created by 3D printing and designed to withstand the elements, by registering in advance on the Assemblée nationale website.

But, who are the women they celebrate and honour? Some might be familiar to international readers while others are barely known outside France.

Christine de Pizan (1364-1431) 

The oldest of the inspirational women remembered at the Olympic Games’ Opening Ceremony by some distance.

De Pizan was France’s first woman of letters, the first woman to earn a living as a writer. 

She started her career in the court of King Charles VI, following the deaths of her father and husband in rapid succession, leaving the family – she had three children – without a traditional source of income.

Her works were forgotten for several centuries, but resurfaced in the 1980s thanks to the rise of feminist studies – and, today, she is revered as one of history’s earliest feminists. Her most famous work, La cité des dames (The City of Ladies), clinically dismantles patriarchal discrimination and misogyny.

Jeanne Barret (1740-1807)

Explorer and botanist Barret was born into poverty in rural Burgundy – and went on to become the first woman to circumnavigate the globe, while working as a ‘valet’ to doctor and botanist Philibert Commerson. 

At the time, the French navy banned women from their vessels, so she had to undertake the journey around the world in disguise, and was known as Jean. Her tireless work – she took charge of an expedition in Brazil when Commerson was unfit to work – earned her the respect of the crew and the expedition’s captain Louis-Antoine de Bougainville.

She and Commerson kept her true identity – and their relationship – secret for a year. In fact, such was his respect for her that Bougainville, after whom the botanist had named a plant, later wrote to King Louis XVI and requested that she be honoured with the title femme extraordinaire.

Olympe de Gouges (1748-1793)

Playwright, activist, abolitionist, disheartened revolutionary – feminist icon de Gouges is best known for her  Déclaration des droits de la femme et de la citoyenne (Declaration of the Rights of Woman and the Female Citizen), written in scathing response to the Revolutionary Déclaration des droits de l’homme et du citoyen and demanding full legal, political and social assimilation of women.

She also wrote in favour of the abolition of slavery, and was initially in favour of the 1789 Revolution – but grew disenchanted by the lack of progress of women’s rights in its aftermath. 

De Gouges was executed by guillotine in 1793, after writing repeated literary attacks on the regime and leader Maximilien Robespierre.

Louise Michel (1830-1905)

If ever you see anarchists raise a black flag during a protest, remember Louise Michel – the teacher, anarchist and leading light of the Paris Commune, a French revolutionary government that seized power in Paris from 18th March to 28th May, 1871.

She was transported to Nouvelle-Caledonie in punishment for her role in the Commune. There, she took up the plight of the indigenous Kanak people, taking their side in a revolt in 1878. 

In 1880, amnesty was granted to those who had participated in the Paris Commune. Michel returned to Paris, her revolutionary passion undiminished. And she proudly waved a black flag at a jobless demonstration in Paris in March 1883 – it is, historians say, the first use of the modern anarchists’ symbol.

Alice Guy (1873-1968)

French cinema remembers the Lumière brothers, Auguste and Louis. It remembers the visionary Georges Méliès, and early directors Marcel Pagnol and Jean Renoir – the son of the artist. And it honours Godard, Truffaut and Rohmer. The list of male cineastes in France is long.

Alice Guy routinely gets lost in the shuffle. She shouldn’t. She was the first woman to direct a film – La Fée aux choux in 1896; one of the first to make a movie with a distinct narrative; and, for a decade between 1896 to 1906, was probably the only female filmmaker in the world.

Guy was a cinema pioneer in many ways. She experimented with Gaumont’s Chronophone sync-sound system, colour-tinting, interracial casting, and special effects. 

Her Hollywood film A Fool and His Money – made with a wholly African-American cast – is considered to have historical and aesthetic significance and is preserved at the National Center for Film and Video Preservation at the American Film Institute.

And her 1906 33-minute film La vie du Christ, which tells the story of Jesus Christ in 25 tableaux based on the gospels, is sometimes cited as the first ‘epic’ movie. As was the case with many Guy  films, it was for a long time wrongly attributed to Victorin Jasset – her assistant in charge of directing exterior scenes and managing the extras.

Alice Milliat (1884-1957)

There’s still a vast distance to travel, but women’s sport might not even be where it is today without Milliat. 

While noted misogynist Pierre de Coubertin – he once famously said that a woman’s role at the Olympic Games should be to crown the winners – gets all the Olympic glory, Milliat was responsible for getting the men-only club to, finally, allow women to compete.

She founded the Fédération Française Sportive Féminine in 1917. She helped organise the 1922 Women’s World Games – which were originally called the Jeux Olympiques Féminins and which ran for four editions until 1934, and which prompted the International Olympic Committee to slowly and belatedly allow female competition.

She also managed a French women’s association football team that toured the United Kingdom in 1920. In 2021, a commemorative statue of Milliat was unveiled at the French Olympic Committee’s headquarters in Paris.

Paulette Nardal (1896-1985)

Journalist, activist, woman of letters and pioneer of ‘black intellectualism’, Nardal, who was born in Martinique, was also the first black woman to study at the Sorbonne.

In October 1931, she founded the journal La Revue du Monde Noir (Review of the Black World) with her sisters; French novelist Louis Jean Finot; Haitian scholar Léo Sajous; and Clara W Shepard, an African-American teacher and translator. 

On her return to Martinique in 1944, Nardal founded Le Rassemblement féminin. Le Rassemblement féminin, one of two feminist organisations at the time whose goals were to increase the number of women who voted in the 1945 elections.

Then, from 1946 to 1948 Nardal was a delegate to the United Nations, working with both the UN Department for Non-Autonomous Territories and the UN Commission on the Status of Women.

Simone de Beauvoir (1908-1986)

De Beauvoir’s 1949 work The Second Sex is considered a “trailblazing work in feminist philosophy”, and is a foundation work of modern feminism. 

But she considered herself a writer rather than a philosopher. She won the 1954 Prix Goncourt, the 1975 Jerusalem Prize, and the 1978 Austrian State Prize for European Literature, and was nominated for the Nobel Prize in 1961, 1969 and 1973.

More controversially, she lost a teaching job amid accusations of inappropriate behaviour and she and long-time partner Jean-Paul Sartre campaigned for the release of people convicted of child sex offences.

Simone Veil (1927-2017)

Simone Veil survived Auschwitz and later Bergen-Belsen and went on to become one of France’s most respected politicians, steering through landmark laws to liberalise contraception and abortion.

She is best known for leading the successful campaign to legalise abortion in France – despite vicious abuse and threats – as the country’s first female minister of health in 1975. 

Veil later became the first female president of the European Parliament, where she served for three years, before returning to work for the French government again.

She was given an honorary damehood from the British government, and awarded the Grand Cross of the Légion D’Honneur in France. She died in 2017, and became just the fourth women to be interred in the Parthenon, after scientist Marie Curie, and two resistance fighters Genevieve de Gaulle-Anthonioz and Germaine Tillion.

In 2021, Josephine Baker was also honoured at the Parthenon, nearly half a century after her death.

Gisèle Halimi (1927-2020)

“Politics is too serious a matter to be left to men alone.” Tunisian-born lawyer, feminist activist and co-founder of equality movement Choisir la cause des femmes said that in 1978. 

In early 1972, a year after Choisir was founded, Halimi successfully defended a teenager who was on trial for illegally aborting a pregnancy after she had been raped in the Parisian suburb of Bobigny.

The teenager’s mother and three others were also charged with conspiring to commit the illegal abortion.

It was a landmark case that paved the way for Simone Veil to persuade France’s parliament to legalise abortions in France two years later.

In 1981, Halimi was elected as an MP, where she was a vociferous campaigner for the abolition of the death penalty, and tabled bills promoting women’s rights.

Four years later, she was appointed Ambassador and Permanent Delegate of France to UNESCO, and, in 1989, she was appointed special advisor to the French delegation to the UN General Assembly in New York.

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